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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24640648">If I Slipped Away</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobakiin/pseuds/bobakiin'>bobakiin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Martin Lives AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:00:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>813</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24640648</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobakiin/pseuds/bobakiin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As Martin Septim is hailed as Tamriel's Emperor and savior, a pining hero takes advantage of the celebrations to disappear.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Male Hero of Kvatch | Champion of Cyrodiil/Martin Septim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If I Slipped Away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>so canonically martin and kadeth confess to each other while they're at cloud ruler temple but in this au that doesn't happen because i said so. it's equivalent exchange or some shit.</p>
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      <p>"Hail Emperor Martin Septim!" The cheers rang out all over the Imperial City, as the citizens cried and rejoiced in the knowledge that they had an emperor once more, and that Tamriel was saved. However, behind the crowd around the Temple of the One, stood a lone figure. His was the only face without a smile. </p>
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      <p>It was selfish, really. Of course he was relieved that the Oblivion Crisis had ended, and that everyone had lived to tell the tale. Even if it had been close in the end. He had already seen Caroline and Baurus describing their exploits to a group of bards who dilligently took note. Baurus had bandages wrapped around his head, and Caroline was favoring her right leg as she showed the bards how she had killed a horde of scamps. But their injuries did nothing to dim their joy. Even Jauffre had relaxed, his usual serious expression replaced with a smile as he spoke with Chancellor Ocato and Martin, occasionally waving to the crowd. Jauffre, smiling. What a strange sight. He had certainly never smiled at him like that. No, just that condescending glare. </p>
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      <p>Kadeth leaned against the wall, hidden in shadow as he watched Martin. Selfish, so very selfish. Tamriel had been saved, and here he was, moping because of an unrequited crush. What was he, a child? Though he supposed it was more than just a crush. He could at the very least admit that to himself. No, it was love. The painful kind, that filled his heart with equal parts euphoria and anguish whenever he was near Martin. Happy to be called his friend, sad because that was all he was ever destined to be. Kadeth knew full well that being appointed Champion of Cyrodiil, he'd be given a place by Martin's side in the palace. But not as close as he would have liked. And it would be pure torture, seeing Martin marry someone else. It was necessary, as Jauffre had liked to remind him back at Cloud Ruler Temple, purposely loud enough so Kadeth could hear. A reminder for Martin, and a warning for him. It was an unneeded one. Martin had never seemed to care for him as anything more than a friend. Why would he? The future Emperor of Tamriel, with someone who was had only gotten out of prison thanks to either pure luck or divine interference. Or both. If he hadn't been in such a foul mood, he might have laughed, for how hysterically unrealistic the thought of him by Martin's side was. No, it was better for him to be with someone deserving. Even if the very idea of it tore Kadeth apart.</p>
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      <p>He had never considered himself a jealous man, yet a wave of black dread seemed to overwhelm him at the very thought of another person by Martin's side. Seeing him with someone, anyone else...it kept him up some nights. He was so, so selfish. Pathetic too. Kadeth pulled the hood of his cloak over his head, weaving through the masses of people still vying to get into the Temple District to catch a glimpse of the new Emperor. While he was actively running away from him.  He was tempted to turn back, just for one last glimpse, but was terrified to, in case he caught Martin's gaze. If he had been begged to stay, would he have the heart to refuse? Or would Martin care at all? It was the fear of both being asked to stay, and the fear of being allowed to leave, that kept Kadeth's eyes forward. </p>
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          <p>"Come on." He whispered to Shadowmere as he got to the stables. The final gift from a man no longer here. He took a brief moment to reach up and pet the top of her head. The only companion he had left, and it was a horse. At least Bellamont's mother's head was human. Then again, Shadowmere was still alive. The guards, preoccupied with the celebrations and managing the people entering the city, didn't notice the cloaked man leading the midnight-colored horse out of the stables. Kadeth could still hear the cheers as he rode Shadowmere away from it all. To Cheydinhal first, he decided. To stock up on food, before making his way to Fort Farragut. The last thing he wanted was to stay in the Cheydinhal sanctuary. The new initiates could not replace the friends he had slain, and just looking at Arqen made him irrationally angry. He hoped Lucien's skeletal guardians still recognized him. He wasn't in the mood to fight anyone. As he continued riding, the sounds of the crowd gradually faded away. The White-Gold Tower did not, visible from nearly any point in Cyrodiil. A looming, constant reminder of what-of <em>who</em> he had left behind. Of his selfishness. </p>
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          <p>It was a good thing then, that Kadeth didn't look back.</p>
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